you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
