She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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