I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
