butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The air was thick with penises
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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