She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
