I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
