Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
