i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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