So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
