remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
