ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize