i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
