Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
