thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
