it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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