Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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