i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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