Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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