How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
