Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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