Don't make out with my wife yet
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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