Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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