why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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