Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just puked most of my soul out..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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