I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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