I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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