Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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