his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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