The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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