Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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