the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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