At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize