I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
