She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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