Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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