and you said cock pushups were impossible
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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