i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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