She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
