Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
