$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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