i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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