A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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