I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
