I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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