Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
