I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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