she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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