yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
