dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
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I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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