what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
