So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
