Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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