pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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