One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize