The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
