Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
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The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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