Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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