I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
