broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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