I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
