at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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