Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
